Single , IVF & Older Mums
I have had the honour of doulaing for many fabulous women and none so amazing as those single, IVF, sperm donor, same sex relationship or older woman. In my 20's I travelled the world; working and partying but my long term plan was to have a baby at 30. I felt with my maternity nursing experience this would be a good age for me whether single or with a partner. So when at 28 I found myself pregnant, single and living back in London I thought brilliant. My plans were just coming to fruition a little early. In Westminster hospital (as it was known then) it said on my notes in big letters Geriatric - now you would never see that on any maternity notes thankfully. Also I remember a midwife saying to me – “you should have known better at your age”!! Gosh how times have changed and for the better.
Here to support all kinds of mums
I find single mums wonderful - they are strong, driven and focused. However saying that I was single and I remember a friend saying to me a couple of weeks before I gave birth ‘I admire you so much’ and that comment left me shell shocked and rather frightened! I find IVF mums have usually had a few rounds of IVF and I so admire their strength and stamina. Then after all that they go on to have normal everyday births – incredible. I find the older mums have some of the most wanted babies I have ever come across. And finally if you are all of the above; you are incredible and I would love to work with you.
During your pregnancy and birth I will support, care and empower you. I will work closely with you so you feel both confident and safe. I often find women do really well with no man to worry about, perform for or impress. These births are a true honour to attend and I look back with real fondness on these wonderful women and their births.
My top tips for single mums
- A good network of support around you
- A feeding basket
- Learn how to co sleep safely
- 2 changing stations
- A thermos of hot water for nappy changing
- Invest in a baby sling using a sling library
- Finally & most importantly friends who listen & cook
"As a 41 year old, single woman, having a sperm donor baby, I feel enormously lucky that I chose Kayla to be part of my experience in becoming a parent. She was there to offer sensible advice and reassurance in the lead up to the birth and to help allay those fears you have of the unknown. Having her there at the birth as a calm, caring presence who made me believe I could do it and to speak up for what I needed and wanted made the world of difference, especially as a single parent. Even after returning home she was there to help us settle in and give invaluable support in those scary few weeks when you are left alone and aren't sure you actually know what to do. I honestly feel blessed to have found her and I couldn't think of anyone else kinder or better suited to what they do."
Epidural Normal Delivery – Single IVF Older Mum, Balham